We shall never forgive, because they made sure - we will never forget.

The rain doesn’t cleanse here, it only dilutes blood into mud. Every drop a distant memory that refuses to die.

You hover above me, dove, too innocent for this place. Have you come to mock me?Watch me dance naked through oceans of barbed wire Creating company for my wounds, replacing tenderness with burn. It all tore through me. Pain became the only language. Pain became the only answer. So I screamed back in atrophy, in will.

Dove… you come too late. My mouth is full of ashes, my body baptized in hellfire. I was remade for dark purpose to be touched, to be thrown, to be used at their will.

Now that no one reaches for me, I don’t know what these hands are for. They tremor imagining peace, in a way they never did for pain.

Sweet dove, I don’t know how to hold you anymore. Do not speak to me of peace. Peace is a lie told by those who never had to survive their own skin. Silence scares me more than any fight I’ve known. So I forgot how to exist in calm. Tell me, dove, if I lay down, will my hands still be of use? If I lay down, will I find the strength to rise again?

But tell me who I am when there’s nothing left to survive? Who am I when there is no one left to protect?

I saved myself by using up my soul and that’s what I am left with. No gods. No witnesses. Only empty shells beneath my feet, mirroring this hollow body, still echoing with terror, still longing for a kiss of what once tried to destroy me.

Are you waiting for me, dove? Innocence on my barrel, ghost of a world I no longer trust. A sun that will always remain a lie in the glance of the darkness I have met -between love and death, and dream, and terror.

But it’s my darkness - a violent lover, a home in ruins. A home nonetheless.

The dead can’t remember me. The living don’t want to hear of pain. Say, will you remember me, dove?

Until then… I replace blood with ink, projectiles with pens, and screams..

will be my voice.