La Fée Verte
11
After the first glass you see things as you wish they were.
I found her, my green fairy. Among the lost and broken, we recognised each other. She came from another world, featherlight, to ease my burdened shoulders, the ache of the past, everything I can’t forget.
She is my fantasy made flesh but even brighter. She fills the air with glitter, clouds my senses, turns red flags into green like hope itself.
I am chosen, blessed, anointed by her gaze alone. She lifts me to our throne of pleasure and insatiability.
Her scent? Youth, summer rain.
Her taste? Sugar and sin.
Her Touch? Like soft, wet moss.
Her voice? Kind, but unshakable.
She understands me, holds me, makes me sing, makes me paint and write and bleed poetry. She wants to carry me to her mystic forest where we can be us. Naked. Raw. Undone. Unending. Where I could be more than a man.
I would give her my sanity.
A small price to pay for a one-way ship to the other side, to become a god.
She could make me hers.
Finally you see things as they really are and that is the most horrible thing in the world.
There’s a violence in our orbit, a cursed constellation, toxin in our bond. Like we were born and shaped this way—lock and key. Still our worlds were never meant to touch,
but fate is cruel and beautiful and blind. So we burn - two flames dancing too close, burning it all down.
Just to feel something real.
Knowing it could end in ashes, we still reach, feelings this monumental can never be wrong. Or can they?
Anyway, I could never betray her, she has cast her spell too deep. Never own her, for no mortal man can survive a goddess or lift the weight of her strange world. Never could I hurt her without hurting myself
because a part of her lives in me now.
But all the control I’ve felt was an illusion - allowance, sweet whispers by her gentle voice, promises she could break with a snip of her finger, she could take anything she desires.
A Dream in glowing, green glitter.
When I wake up, she is gone.
I’m only reminded of her presence by withdrawal, the shaking tremor of my soul and hands. She snuck back into her world. Like she has never been here but still I have been marked by her forever.
I start to lose my mind.
My thoughts, my body, my soul, everything that is me, my life..
a small price to pay.
Just to touch her again.
Taste her again on my lips.
To feel this burst of existence.
To die a little slower.
Longing for my Fée Verte.
After the second Glass, you see things as they are not.
My green fairy - why would you come to this cursed place if not to be owned? Crawling to me on your knees. You need me even more than I need you, isn’t that true?
Because wings soaked in loneliness and longing - can’t make you fly.
You must know how much you are,
but maybe you finally want to be less?
And yes, I could easily break you. I really could. Crush your delicate soul, shatter your longing heart.
Tear your wings so you could never fly away from me again. Devour your green shimmer like the starving wolf I am. Turn you to prey. Make you fear. Feed. Have more. Have all.
Strip you of your grace and will. All my weight on you. Cage your divinity, your beauty and call it love. Fall endlessly into your abyss until I forget where I end, where you begin.
A small price for you to pay to never be left or betrayed again, to never be lonely again.
I could make her mine.